The hardest part of starting a new blog is the starting. That said I have so much on my mind right now I don’t even know where to start. I’m in therapy, a process I started several months ago and have continued. More than ever I’m coming to understand one thing.
Even when I am making positive change for myself I can also receive not so positive responses or consequences. That truly when I change I create change. And change is just different. It’s funny cuz I had an idea of what the change would look like……and I haven’t been anywhere close to the reality of how it’s all played out.
I spend alot of time by myself, thinking, playing, writing, driving and sitting still.
And then there’s the bouts of rage. Complete rage that I even have to go through this/like this, at my age and my stage of my development. That every step of the way the path has been made more difficult seemly on purpose.
That’s the way the cookie crumbles I suppose…..ain’t shit in my life ever been easy….no particular reason why it should in this instance either.
I’m making new agreements with TW. New bottom lines I won’t cross. New dreams to reach for and some old ones that are starting to come true. It is what it is…… and over all it’s gettin better so I’ll just buckle in for the ride. After all it’s my life…..I can’t/won’t miss it!
